Diction and Pretension

Yesterday, I attended a training seminar for accountants. Yes, it was about as exciting as you are envisioning.

Anyway, the gentleman who spoke during lunch was a very bright man. He was presenting a forecast of the energy industry over the next 25 years.

He would pronounce his words very preciscely... "twen-ty" and "Muh-lai-see-a" and "In-doe-nee-see-a." I appreciated his good diction (though I think he went a bit overboard on those two country names)

Midway through the presentation, he started talking about sources of power... such as "nu-cu-ler." Very nice, I thought... very nice, indeed.

I just laughed every time he said it... at least it kept me awake.

Let Cuba be glad... at least in part

Last year, I posted an entry similar to this one before my trip to Guatemala. Well, this year (Saturday to be exact) the Lord has me headed off to Cuba.... that's right, the Communist country 90 miles off the coast of Florida.

As we talked through some of the logistics for our trip last night, an excitement about the trip hit me. I have been excited in the theoretical sense since (it just hit me that I used two homonyms right after each other) I first decided to go. But my excitement has been pretty low level until last night. I guess it is largely because the trip is right around the corner... but in any event, I am pumped about going.

The details of what we will be doing are fuzzy... there are some specifics we know, but there is a lot of room for flexibility. So if the Lord prompts you to do so... please pray for guidance. We all want to be used while we are there, so please pray that God opens doors for us to be busy about His work for the entire week. As I prayed with my prayer partner last night, I was reminded of the freedom we have in America... and how our freedom in Christ is so much more than our American freedom. It is my hope and prayer that we will be able to communicate our freedom in Christ without it being tainted or confused with our cultural freedom.


There will be more to share after the trip (obviously), but for now... this will have to do. Pray for us and for the people we will be spending time with.

The ol' grey mare aint what she used to be...

Actually, I should refer to her as "The Oyster Saturn" as that is what my good buddy Josh dubbed her... yes, I am referring to my car. She finally died on Tuesday (well.. she started the death process on Sunday night).

This week has been a fun one to say the least. The Oyster Saturn (TOS) decided she didn't have the will to live anymore on Sunday night... in Buffalo, TX (somewhere between Dallas and Houston on I-45). There was much drama to be had as I had to have her towed... not fun. However, I got a nice hook up from a friend on that, so the final bill was not as bad as it could have been.

On Monday, by the sheer grace of our great God, I was able to drive TOS to the Saturn dealership. A kind man in the Tiger Mart parking lot in Buffalo told me that the car wouldn't make it more than 15 miles (and that was just by hearing the noises it was making as I drove up... truly amazing). So I found a dealership that was a mere 9 miles from my humble abode... and set off. As I said... she made it. I dropped her off... the mechanics (again, purely by sound) had a good idea what was wrong. Apparently "throwing a rod" is a common term in car repair lingo. Well... that was what TOS was trying to do.

On Tuesday (after I had done some on-line and in person shopping), I decided on a new-to-me Mazda 6 from CarMax (little plug... this is the only place I will ever buy a car from going forward). During the test drive, the salesman and I stopped at the Saturn dealership to retreive TOS. Well... she allowed me to back her out... and then breathed her last breath. It was a sad moment, actually.

I ended up purchasing the Mazda (yet to be named - I will be accepting ideas over the next several days, months) on Tuesday night. She is a little bigger... a little faster... but still a pretty light drinker, so I am happy.

And I have just received confirmation that TOS is only worth about $100. So sad...

The quote of the week is as follows (I have heard it from MANY people in response to the fact that TOS gave out after a mere 6.5 years/117,000 miles): "It is a Saturn...(slight pause) no offense."

You Too...

Many of you may have heard of a comedian named Brian Regan. Truly one of the funniest guys on the proverbial circuit. He is clean... and hilarious. I like to describe him as being a mix between Jim Carrey and Jerry Seinfeld... he is physically funny like Carrey but has the observational humor of Seinfeld. Those of you who know Brian's work will appreciate this story...

So anyway... yesterday I had to rent a car (story for that will follow in another blog post). Well, as it turns out, the guy who helped me rent said car was celebrating his birthday yesterday. So as I was leaving, I thanked him and said, "... happy birthday." To which he responded, "You too...."

"I don't know how to use the 'you too.'"

You Did What? In Your Shirt?

OK... so last week, I was on a retreat with many of the singles from my church. (The same one that birthed the legend now known as "The Troy"). Well... it was a grand ole' time as usual. Retreats typically are just fun because you they are like a mini vacation where you get away from the routine of life... even if it is just for a day or two.

But on Saturday night, two of my favorite female friends (both of whom are dating, mind you) were arguing over who would get to dance with me. A scuffle ensued as they were both trying to jockey for my attention... and in the process, I expelled some gas orally (that is verbose way of saying I burped). Now this release of gas was not intentional... nor was it audible. But one of the ladies stopped in the middle of fighting off the other and said, "did you just burp." I was busted... because I knew that I had, but I also knew that the only reason she knew was that she had smelled it. (Yes, I do realize how gross that is... but it is what it is)

Much laughter ensued from that revelation... and it was quite enjoyable (albeit at my expense).

So later on in the evening (during the lip sync show), I still had the occasional need to expel gas orally. I was sitting next to one of the aforementioned ladies, so I was sure to direct these burps in the opposite direction. However, at one point, I decided to direct a burp into my shirt (you know... to muffle it from the surrounding innocent bystanders).

Well... I was caught red handed by the yound lady next to me, and she said, "Did you just burp into your shirt?" Again, much laughter ensued.

Now remember, the two ladies who caught me burping were the two who desperately wanted to dance with me. I fear their names will never again grace my dance card...

Feel Good Song #4

Down on the Corner

Early in the evenin' just about supper time,
Over by the courthouse they're starting to unwind.
Four kids on the corner trying to bring you up.
Willy picks a tune out and he blows it on the harp.

Down On The Corner, out in the street,
Willy and the Poorboys are playin';
Bring a nickel; tap your feet.

Rooster hits the washboard and people just got to smile,
Blinky, thumps the gut bass and solos for a while.
Poorboy twangs the rhythm out on his kalamazoo.
Willy goes into a dance and doubles on kazoo.

Down On The Corner, out in the street,
Willy and the Poorboys are playin';
Bring a nickel; tap your feet.

You don't need a penny just to hang around,
But if you've got a nickel, won't you lay your money down?
Over on the corner there's a happy noise.
People come from all around to watch the magic boy.

(This will be the last installment in the Feel Good Songs series. It has not attracted as much attention as I hoped. However, there are many songs that evoke a "life is good" feeling... and these are just four that came to mind this week. There will be a Depressing Song series in the not too distant future, so stay tuned)

Feel Good Song #3

Lean On Me

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother,
when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have a problem
that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Lean on me

Feel Good Song #2

What a Wonderful World

I see trees of green........ red roses too
I watch 'em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....warm sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin'.. how do you do
They're really sayin'......I love you.

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
They'll learn much more.....than I'll never know
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world

Feel Good Song #1

The Cheers Theme Song

Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you've got;
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.

(for those who know the full song... I have only included the first verse for two reasons: 1. it is the one everone knows 2. the other verses don't make me feel so good)

When Context Doesn't Help....

The townhome complex I live in recently installed new mail boxes - with new locks... which require new keys.

Well, apparently we received a note on our door informing us of this news. I did not see the note, but my roommates told me it said something to the effect of the following:

"Please come by the front office to pick up your new mail box keys. Our office hours are from 8:00am to 5:00pm. If you cannot come during these hours, we can mail you your new keys."

Seriously?

Context is Everything

Last night, just before a leadership meeting, I was overheard saying the following words (with a fair amount of excitement and gusto):

"He is definitely kissable."

Now... given those words alone, one of the other individuals quickly turned to find out what exactly I was referring to.

Well, the full context of the story was that I was showing a new picture of my nephew (not the one below, but one almost as cute). Laurie Johnson pointed out that the picture I was showing displayed his pouty kissable lips. I was simply affirming that my 1 year old nephew truly is kissable. I mean check this picture out... he is eating a cracker (you can see a crumb on the right side of his mouth), but wouldn't you agree that he is definitely kissable?